I think there are so many different responses that an individual goes through during a break up and that can be from relying on friends, rebounds, isolation, the get-over-a-break-up remedies vary so significantly depending on where or who you turn to for comfort. So here’s a quick guide to what I’ve learnt through my friends and my own experience!
1. Surround yourself with people that make you feel happy, encourage you to be more positive and bring comfort; having a good supportive environment around you can make sure that your emotions don’t dampen too hard. Your surrounding environment of people should help uplift you and appreciate that there are so many other things to appreciate and enjoy.
2. Supplementing; no matter what your friends say or how they try reason to you that rebounds are good ideas, don’t do it. Rebounds will be a momentary compensation for something you have lost that you think you can supplement and replace, but in the long run you’ll be left feeling a little less pieced together because of it. Make sure you are clear headed, ready and in a good place before you start making decisions you might regret.
3. This one ties into rebounds and why I think you would feel a little less pieced together; work on yourself and be comfortable as you. When things don’t go the way you hope, you start questioning yourself in your personality, actions, looks, basically anything about yourself and why it didn’t work, but sometimes things just don’t work because it just wasn’t meant to. You have to learn to appreciate what went right and what went wrong and take it forward in life without allowing that to be a hinderance. Don’t try replacing that void or compensating your own self doubt with a rebound, it’s not going to help you be more comfortable and confident about yourself as a person in the long run.
4. Trying new hobbies and experiences; this is a good opportunity for you to experience things or try new hobbies that perhaps the relationship didn’t permit or give you the time to try. You can now explore new avenues to see what makes you excited, passionate and refreshed.
5. Don’t stick yourself in hole; no matter what you do, you shouldn’t hermit yourself from the outer world. It’s okay to take some time to yourself to recollect and just think over things but don’t cut off the outside world and stick yourself into an endless warp of bed side TV & takeaway meals. Go outside, breathe fresh air and feel open to take on new things in your life.
6. Holding On; this is a really tough one because attachment and perhaps the extent that another person has been there for you isn’t very easy to just lose but holding on isn’t going to help you. If your paths are meant to cross again (sorry to be cliched) then I genuinely believe it will happen, but your life shouldn’t be put on hold because there’s a whole world of different things out there that you can’t even imagine exist. These things harness potential for your future, they’re a much better option than sulking and waiting around in the hope that it can be the same way it was.
I hope these are a few things that perhaps help you with whatever you’re going through because I don’t think they’re only applicable for break-ups but a lot of us do some soul searching for life and I definitely feel like there are important aspects here that are more than relevant to that as well.
One final note thing; during your minor hermit mode within perhaps the first couple of days or weeks, definitely watch some Wong Fu videos. They aren’t just cliched videos that are good stories but lots of people relate to them on different levels and it can give some really good perspective if you can stay open minded to actually interpreting it in a deeper way than what you just view on the screen.
Wishing you all some ease for whatever you are going through, peace out.