Of course a brand spankin’ New Year would not be complete without a self-indulged reflection on myself. But, I do promise that it will be genuine, stripped to the raw details and no sugar coatings.
Let’s jump right into the deep end…
I began shutting off at the beginning of last year in respects to every aspect of my life (studies, family, personal, everything). I spent the greater half of 2016 frustrated that I was lacking passion, ambition and direction for anything in my current lifestyle and it drove me insane to the bones. Perhaps a few really close by-standers in my life noticed but I doubt that my lack of transparency made it readily visible. My own frustration built up quite intensely whilst others turned their problems to me for solutions. The nature of the problems were time sensitive so they naturally took priority over my own state of mind, so I began functioning practically with lack of empathy and ‘feeling’ for myself.
And you know what? It felt great. There was no subjective decision making in my own head, there was a right and wrong way of doing things for other people so I never had to think, I just done it; black and white answers with no gray zone.
After my trip to Japan, I very quickly realised my mistake in doing so because I was actually enjoying my surroundings and I do apologise for the cliche term but I was actually ‘living’ again. I knew by the time the trip was finished that I had to make a drastic change in my environment or else I would quickly become numb and slip back into the routine. I gathered up the remaining motivation and ‘steam’ I had left and took a ridiculous chance in Hong Kong and it has been a burden financially, mentally and most of all, physically but I am so glad that I made this ballsy decision. I adapt to environments fast which make me lazy because I find the shortcuts and comforts in no time but it’s much more difficult to do so in an environment that’s changing and consistently showing more colours than you see at first. That was justification enough for me to step out my comfort zone when I chose Hong Kong.
Unfortunately, I am still in the same position as my previous self in regards to lacking direction in where I want my life to go, what I want to do, where I see myself in several months (nevermind years) but I have this burning passion and ambition that’s driving me through the day to day. Even with a lack of direction, I am able to apply my drive and determination to whatever I want to try and hopefully I will find something suitable sooner or later. This mindset has been the most significant development in my past year and I am so glad that I kicked myself in the ass to get out of that strut. I can happily say that I’m thoroughly enjoying my temporary but most certainly chaotic and busy Hong Kong lifestyle and I’m so excited to continue on to 2017.
2016 provided a base for growth and I cannot be more thankful for the new relationships I have created and the old ones that I have built upon; it’s been an incredible opportunity so far that presents even bigger and better ones for the future. Moving so far from home has just made my appreciation and relationship with my fair ‘Scot-y’ friends and family even better and now I can also rekindle those relationships that have been lost on this side of the World for quite some years.
I wish you all an amazing 2017 and hope to see you all very soon, do not be worried to randomly drop me a line some time. So to 2017, here we are in all we are humbled to have in our lives. It’s time to get fired up. Let’s go bigger, better and most of all, do the things we always set out to try or do. No more excuses.